For the past 20 years I have had depressive episodes. I don't say that I have depression (although a doctor would undoubedlty diagnose such a disease if I told him my symptoms). I don't want that to define who I am. I have a few family members with depression and they tell me that people see them differently when they find out. I don't want that for my life.
I think I lean towards depressive episodes rather than a full blown depression. Many years ago I had post natal depression, and since then these episodes rear their ugly heads every so now and then. Today was one of those days!
Out of no-where, thoughts enter my head...thoughts that life is meaningless, that anything I do is meaningless, so what is the point of doing anything. I realise that these thoughts come straight from the devil, but they are so hard to fight! I pray, and read my bible. Then Andrew comes home from work and gives me a hug. He lets me cry and tell him how down I feel, and how much I hate feeling this way. He tells me he loves me, and gradually the fog starts to lift. For me, my husband is my strength at such times. I thank God for giving him to me.