For the past 20 years I have had depressive episodes. I don't say that I have depression (although a doctor would undoubedlty diagnose such a disease if I told him my symptoms). I don't want that to define who I am. I have a few family members with depression and they tell me that people see them differently when they find out. I don't want that for my life.
I think I lean towards depressive episodes rather than a full blown depression. Many years ago I had post natal depression, and since then these episodes rear their ugly heads every so now and then. Today was one of those days!
Out of no-where, thoughts enter my head...thoughts that life is meaningless, that anything I do is meaningless, so what is the point of doing anything. I realise that these thoughts come straight from the devil, but they are so hard to fight! I pray, and read my bible. Then Andrew comes home from work and gives me a hug. He lets me cry and tell him how down I feel, and how much I hate feeling this way. He tells me he loves me, and gradually the fog starts to lift. For me, my husband is my strength at such times. I thank God for giving him to me.
God Bless,
Jenny
Well done for being honest/speaking out about your struggles!! :) It is an awful way to feel, but always remember that you are loved my many people in your life, young and older!
ReplyDeleteIn those times, I found the account in the bible of how Jesus pulled Peter out of the water when he was sinking, and several psalms of David about how God pulled him out of the dark pit, a great help!!